That is just the package without insurance, spending and food so it will be near to 1.5K total, but yes I do want her to enjoy it. First of all we can't afford for me to pay nearly 1K just to GO on the trip as I can't ski due the injuries I gave myself in the suicide bid. I am at loss on how we can carry on with her refusing to discuss any issue. She stated during my stroke hospitalisation that she loved me and during my recovering from the suicide attempt she had compassion for me. This morning we were OK, but I feel that she needs to understand empathy and how I feel and not create a row as it nearly became.
In the end, after some TV I broke the ice, made some chat and we went to bed. My wife stormed off in a huff and refused to let me explain.
She mentioned it last night and my reaction, as she is aware, was not to chat about it, just get on with it when the date arrives. I did feel she was punishing me having booked it even when she didn't know I could ski for a year or so. Fter my initial show of displeasure I have retreatd and given her backing and am resigned to her going and the expense and have told her so. We both love skiing but I can't anymore, but she has booked a very expensive holiday in January with a crowd of our friends. I treat the probation which is tough also as therapy/counselling, although it is not, but I find it good to talk.Ĭounselling has been suggested to her since my crime and since, with me suggesting it could help, but she refuses outright. However, she has her own issues with what I have done over the years, quite understandingly. Now back at home and she again is being lovely and supporting. I recovered from all injuries etc by early this year but two weeks ago I had a mild stroke. My wife and family have backed and supported me and I have been at home since late 2013 and we are getting by and doing all our interests as normal, except my wife is driving me every where. I tried to commit suicide in utter remorse and deep shame after the arrest and failed, having to spend many months in hospital recovering. Local newspapers published my details and crime so we have to live with people finding out, including some friends and acquaintances, some of whom we have lost, but others have been marvellous. I am not a child abuser nor a paedophile and since prostate cancer in 2007, I cannot have any sexual gratification of any sort. It was a big mistake I know and am now in probation and learning things like empathy which I realise I did't have. They were low level and not pornographic. I am on the Sex Offenders Register since early 2013 with some images of little girls on my computer. We have two adult children with grandchildren living within 3 miles. We were happily living and doing everything together although we have some different interests, her gardening and WI and me hobby painting and sport.
I have not tried any more since early 1980 and she has forgiven me as much as she can.
Married 50 years and I have given her a hard life, with various affairs in the 70s into 80s all found out and admitted, one was her best friend.